simply complicated

OMGAH
nothing makes sense anymore
nothing is certain
im gonna try this. im going to say what i want to say here
to certain people, but im not writing their names.
idc if they read this, but i just need to write it down.

1. wow, you guys. i told you. i was gonna do it myself, and i dont even know if im ready yet. What if its the wrong timing, and i decide that i DONT? That i dont want that kind of thing, and the complexities that come with it? It's just going to wind up hurting someone. None of us want that. Please, i tell you things and i need you to respect my decisions, and what i ask of you. I mean, if i gave you guys a straight answer, id be fine with what you did. but i didnt. so now i dont know if what youre telling me is true, if thats ALL you said. i really love and trust you.

2. YOU. dude, i really dont know why youre thinking that. you have a family, friends that love you(whether you like it or not >:]), a roof over your head, food to eat, etc. Theres so much for you to experience. Life may get difficult, like unbelievably, but dont do anything you'll regret. its not gonna be worth it.

3. This whole thing is so confusing. its like youre two completely different people. In person, so much fun and cool, but online sometimes its totally different. so i really dont know. hope youre not getting the wrong message though.

4. why do you have to overdramatize everything? too emotional, too needy, and im just so tired. It's been an incredibly long time, but ive changed. WEVE changed. I dont think we can go back to how things were before, especially if you keep running away.

5. You guys inspire me. im incredibly happy for you. Maybe one day id get to experience that. The story you have is amazing, and you should keep telling it to everyone and inspire others like you have me. The perfect evidence that you are never too young.

6. I am so sorry. i dont know what came over me. STUPIDITY. and im paying for it. i just regret incredibly that you do too, even if it wasnt exactly my fault.

7. I shouldve known that i couldnt trust you. i mean, DUH. idk i guess you were just there when i felt like telling.

8. yeeeeeeeeeee! omg soooo happy for you :DDD lol when you told me, i wasnt exactly surprised, but STILLLL! ;aljdf;alkdjf hahaha somehow i knew it, cuz im cool like that ;) haha and im just reallly glad im one of the few people you told<3

9. we totally have to talk more. dairy queen was funn! lets do it again :] ahha we need another field trip so i can learn more about how tasty orange chicken is ;))) lmao and how angels in heaven are like :D

10. omg! you totally couldnt be more perfect for himm(((: ily already and we havent even met! were definitely hanging out when you get backkkk.

11. i dont know/remember where you are right now, or even your name, but i miss you. it was so long ago, but somehow the image of you is still stuck in my head. haha remember mother giulia? good times, good times. i just hope somehow, someway, well see each other again(:
"my toes, my knees, my shoulder, my head" ;))))

12. please, please, stop it. its not helping you at all. think about your future. think about you-know-who<3 VOLDEMORT! lol i lalalaloves yah :] dude we have so many inside jokes its not even funny :D

13. I miss you a lot, we need to have one of our talks again. If only you could see what everyone else does: a BEAUTIFUL young woman with so many talents. SO much potential. All you need is confidence, and you'd be SO GREAT<3

14. you intrigue me. such an interesting person, that i look forward to see you whenever i can, which is seldom. I just want to figure you out.

15. Please stop bothering me. Get a life. i just cant be nice anymore, because apparently it doesnt get through your thick head.

16. Seriously, i thought youd be the LAST person id be talking to about those things. I actually, surprisingly enjoyed our conversations. Good thing i didnt judge you too soon(:


Okay i think thats most of it(:
dont ask me who i was talking about in these messages
if its you, you dont need me to tell you so. cuz you should know.
and these are all different people, although some are couples ;]