simply complicated

why am i suddenly acquiring feelings for someone i havent seen in 11 years?
i dont even remember his name
but his face is embedded in my heart.
oh first puppy love. the inability to forget.
a million miles away.

and no, its not going to be one of those fairy tale endings
where the two spontaneously meet once again and live happily ever after.
seriously, nothing like that ever happens to me.

this is more like a little girl being stupid.
attempting to find an outlet for emotions after all that has happened to her.

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realizations
trickery
insanity
mystery
scandals
disappointments
confessions
drama
relief
fear
happiness
love...

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i might be able to understand now...
but reassurance is needed.
the idea just hit me as i was sitting there, waiting for my crazy slow IBM laptop to load...
is this merely a tangled web of lies,
would they really work that hard for it?
or is it the truth, but why did they do what they did?

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it seems as if
everything i have worked for
is crumbling down
the tower i have begun to build
was just bombed by time. last week to be specific :[

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Erin, were always like "THATS GOING IN THE BLOG TONIGHT!" when we accidentally stumble upon a smart comment in our conversations.
BUT I KEEP FORGETTING WHAT IT IS
lol
i think i have alzheimers already D:<
oh, and what happened to our plans?
those times in cluster where all we would talk about was that.
are we really going to put all that time to waste?
<3

LOL
ripped pants for good luck
"easier access"
sadistic oppurtunities
so many inside jokes
HAHAHAHAHA
blackie
tigre
sunny
oh my my my

;)

"happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it"'