this week made such a complete turn, for the worse.
monday and tuesday were amazinng :]
i'm so thankful for all the thought that was put into it
and how amazing you guys are<3 i cant even put it into words.
then stuff started popping up
to ruin things.
[who knew all of this drama would have almost nothing to do with formal?]
am i witnessing the collapse of...everything?
i dont know who to trust anymore.
or what to do.
whenever someone tells me something, a voice inside my head questions whether or not to believe them. people can be so deceitful.
did i do something wrong?
am i a bad friend?
do i deserve this in some way?
am i responsible? i honestly don't know.
i can't just ignore this. i can't.
it won't pass by itself.
high school has turned into one of those catty girl books
when everyone has a huge secret, people turn on each other,
where [a lot of] guys are jerks and girls are witches,
when too much drama happens
and where everything is so shallow and superficial.
btw, i might act like it sometimes, but i'm not stupid. don't think you can fool me so easily.
I AM SO EEFFFING PISSED. no. ANGRY. i swear. it's over. i am not gonna let anything else happen. for their sake... it better not be true.
time to turn to my best, most useful medicine: singing my heart out to music blasting in my room without a care in the world, even for a little while :]
p.s. i'm just so grateful for the people responsible for those moments, during the worst days, that make me smile and laughh to no end <3
"when i am alone, i unconsciously smile to myself more often than ever before."
everything depends on perspective.
life can be confusing. or simple.
it can be filled with evil. or good.
we can be drowned in tears of sadness. or joy...
depending on how one sees everything.
what determines this, though? genetics? innate personality?
enviornmental influences? past experiences? everyone affects each other in one way or another.
Life is pretty good right now :] I have learned to suppress all or most of the negative feelings and experiences. I dont feel the urge to explain everything anymore just so they can understand. It's just not worth it. Judge me, sure. I dont care. but don't say you know me, unless you really do. I just might surprise you.
Life is too short to dwell on the past. All we can do is hope and work for a better future.
I hope you see things as i have learned to. Maybe we do not share the same experiences that caused us to become the people we are, but trust me...
life
all of it
is worth it.
the tears will eventually turn to laughter, if you let it.
frowns will turn to smiles
it can only get better from here.
give it a chance.
give yourself a chance.
give love a chance.
give life a chance. it wont let you down.
you are special. especially to me. cmon, i just dedicated this whole blog to you ;P <3
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."
you introduced this quote to me.[& i live by it]
