simply complicated

I realized Tumblr's more for "reblogging" when you see something you like, and this blog is all for me to create. I've missed that. My original thoughts blurted onto this page.

The person that last posted on this website and the person typing now is irrevocably different. This year, by far, has sucked the most immaturity out of me. I've experienced situations with gravity so forceful, no one would walk away the same. My view on the world has changed. The sun shines bright and the sky is clear, but I am stuck wondering at its beauty through blinds and glass from inside my prison. No, this is not merely a physical prison, but mental and emotional as well. Every flame of hope sparked each day, extinguished before the next. No, I will not run out of hope, because the night is darkest before dawn. I sure hope the sun in my life is on it's way, because I don't know how long I can endure this.

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You lessened my faith in humanity. It is UNBELIEVABLE what you did. Oh the manipulation sickens me to no end. No one has ever lied to me like that. The ironic part is, even if you told me the truth, I would have accepted and understood fully, but no, you chose to hurt others and put me in ignorance regarding every situation. You are not a victim. You are a monster. I could almost hate you for what you made me go through, but I cannot hate anyone, no matter how many lies you have told. Such a hypocrite. How can someone claim to live a God-filled life when they hurt others and themselves on purpose constantly? I will never believe a word that comes out of your mouth, believe that.

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I know I have lived a mere 16 years, but do not assume that I am stupid and naive about life. I AM responsible, believe it or not, and it hurts that I am not even trusted to hold a key to the house. Your mindset is "What in the world could a teenager go through that's SO bad? They don't have that many problems." and I cannot change that. But I hate it when people assume about me and my life, because no one really knows except what I tell them. YOU don't know anything because everytime I do tell you about my situations, you always somehow turn it against me in the future. I will not make that same mistake again. Please I beg of you, don't laugh anymore while I break down in front of you, appealing for your trust. You think you understand me, in fact you're so certain you are, but how come you cannot see that what you are doing is slowly sucking the life and hope out of me? Believe it or not this isn't the best way to raise a child.


"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."